For your eyes only
by Heavysaber
Summary: Ray learns something unpleasant about his lover's past


Title: For your eyes only

Author: [Heavysaber][1]

Fandom: Due South

Pairing The real Ray Vecchio / Benton Fraser

Rating: PG-13

Category: AU, slash, hurt/comfort

Feedback: Yes, please. To [heavysaber@yahoo.de][2]

Summary: Ray learns something unpleasant about his lover's past

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, Alliance does. I'm not making any money out of this, Alliance does. I just borrow the boyz for a little while to have some fun. So sue me. Not so, I lied, there's nothing to get from me. 

For Your Eyes Only

by [Heavysaber][3]

"Geez, Benny, I hope this case will be wrapped up shortly. I don't think I can stand another week of those stakeouts." Ray Vecchio, detective first grade with the Chicago PD let himself fall down on the cod that his lover called a bed. He smirked as he hit the hard mattress and wished for the thousandth time Benny would invest into a bit of comfort. Of course, the cod served their purposes to a certain degree. Ray smiled viciously at the memory of the degree those purposes had reached only in the last weeks. He would never have believed his friend, so polite, so reserved, so Canadian, capable of the extraordinary love-making they had enjoyed. But then a few weeks ago he would have never thought that they could become lovers in the first place.

Benton Fraser, liaison officer with the RCMP in Chicago, busied himself in the small part of the apartment his landlord called over-generously a kitchen. While he waited for the water to boil he poured himself another cup of tea. "Coffee will be ready in a few minutes, Ray. Why don't you make yourself a bit more comfortable?"

The Italian eyed his friend suspiciously. "Benny, I am in no state for any games. I'm stuck in my clothes for more than 48 hours in a row. Wouldn't wonder if there's nothing left of me if I take them off." His last words ended in a mumble.

"It was an honest suggestion. Without any second thoughts. At least not from me." The pot started whistling and Benny poured the water into the filter. Ray liked it that way immensely. Handbrewed and very strong. The odour alone was sufficient to revive some of his spirits. He even ignored the last remark of his lover and started to undress himself.

"Could you lend me shorts and shirt, Benny? I have no intention to run around your place naked and I cannot keep on my stuff. It smells." He threw away the components of his attire, disgustedly. Without a word his friend picked them up and placed them neatly on a chair. Then he opened the closet and handed Ray some clothes.

"Better use the bathroom first..." Benny interrupted himself.

Ray threw him a wary look. He nodded at the unspoken thought. "Got the idea. I know I'm not smelling like a rose garden. What can you expect? Even without a Mountie at my side I managed to find some nasty places. If you take a closer look at my stuff you could trace back where I've been those last days." He stopped and stared at his friend. "Don't even think of it, Benny. Spare me the sight. That was the only thing I didn't miss. Your tasting and licking." He continued in a low voice. "Not that I couldn't have used it."

"This case you're working on..." Benny let his voice trail off. Ray who had been on his way out, a towel wrapped around his hips, his hands full with clothes and a piece of soap, stopped and turned to his lover.

"Yes, Benny?"

"You haven't made any progress on it, have you?" The Canadian sounded very cautious in his choice of words. Ray sighed. The fact that Benny treated him like a raw egg made him painfully aware of the truth he didn't want to face.

"No, Benny, no progress at all. I've used up all my connections in the city. Huey and Gardino, too. Three officers dealing with a single standard case, at least if you look none to closely, and we have no clue how to get at them."

"You still believe it's a group?"

"Benny, if you have something to tell me, spill it. I am not in the mood for games, as I already said." Ray realised how harsh his words had sounded when the Mountie flinched back a little. "Sorry, Benny, I'm worn out. Just tell me what you think of it. If you weren't busy with your damn conference in the Consulate you'd be on it anyway."

The Canadian hesitated and Ray began to worry about his friend. But before he could dig deeper his lover said, "First you have to refresh yourself. We will talk. Later." Benny's voice had a hard edge and Ray's feeling of uneasiness intensified. Nonetheless he knew there was no way to argue with the Mountie who was at least as stubborn as he was.

Ray left the apartment and walked over to the bathroom his friend shared with the other inhabitants. There was an advantage to work at unusual hours. No line up at this time of the day. Night, that was. Ray could take his time. He let the hot water run into the tub. He eyed himself in the half-cracked mirror and found his face haggard and strained, even visible in the poor light of the room. He could need a shave and what was more, several hours of beauty sleep. The Italian shook his head. There wouldn't be much opportunity to sleep until they found some lead in that damn case. Ray closed his eyes and leaned his head against the mirror. The coolness against his forehead reminded him of the cool hands of his mother when she tended for him as a little boy every time he was sick.

Vecchio, you're getting soft. This is just another case. A twisted one, maybe. But you're not responsible for every crime in your city.' Those emotions may fit a Mountie, but not a street-wise Chicago cop. He raised his head and grinned at his own image. Yeah, leave the guilt trip to those more experienced.'

The tub was filled half and Ray let the towel fall down in front of it. With a sigh he stepped into the bath and then sat down. He lay his head on the edge, closed his eyes and shut out every conscious thought. When the tub was full he turned off the water. He took the soap into his right hand and eyed it intently. So like Benny. Not the soap, of course, no, just the fact that he used soap for bathing. Ray would have bring some of his stuff over. The fact that he and Benny were involved was still a very new thought for him and he still hesitated to make too obvious commitments.

The Italian began washing himself. There was a faint knock on the door and he instantly knew who was outside. "Come in, Benny," He added in a high-pitched voice. "But you have to promise that you won't look."

The door opened and the Canadian entered. In his hands he held something that looked like a unshapely sponge. "Maybe I can give you a hand. I remembered this sponge I brought with me from Canada. The Inuit use it for massages. It's made of...

"I don't think I want to know the details, Benny. But I like the idea of a massage. I may even allow you to look." He grinned at his lover who responded in kind.

The Mountie knelt down beside the tube and dipped the sponge into the water. Then he started to rub Ray's back with it. The detective drew in some deep breaths before he commented, "Geez, Benny, you could do that professionally. I'll book you for the years to come." Again he closed his eyes and relaxed with every second the expert hands of his lover worked out the cramps of his body. This was too good to be true.

"Ray, Ray, wake up." The soft voice invaded his land of dreams. Ray jerked up and opened his eyes.

"What? For God's sake, I actually fell asleep." The detective shivered a little. The water had got fairly cold by now.

"Come out of it, Ray. You don't want to risk a cold, do you?" Ray stood, got out of the tub and let himself dry off by his friend. He enjoyed to be pampered this way. But when Benny actually started to dress him he sent the Mountie packing.

"Now stop fussing, Benny," he reprimanded him playfully. "You just go ahead and fix something decent to eat. I'm starving." For a second his lover just stared at him, then he picked up the still dripping sponge and threw it at the Italian who nearly slipped in the vain attempt to evade the missile. It hit him on the chest and he let out a snarl. Only the fact that he was still naked hindered him to go after the fleeing Canadian. He finished dressing and eliminated the traces of his bath. After a few minutes he walked over to his lover's apartment, apprehensive of the idea of a light snack.

The smell of newly brewed coffee greeted him when he entered. Benny was lying on his cod, reading in one of his father's journals. The table was laid out with a bowl and cutlery and there stood a basket with bread and a pot of steaming soup.

Ray sniffed at it and smiled. "My mother's."

"Right. She brought it over this afternoon." Benny didn't even look up from his reading.

Ray let himself down on the chair, a little shocked at the news. "My mother was here?"

"Yes, Ray, about half past five. I had just returned from the Consulate." His lover shot him a glance. "Is there anything wrong with that? She said you'd need something to eat when you return from your stakeout."

"That's not what I meant. How did she know I would be here? I didn't know it myself only an hour ago." His thoughts busy with that new revelation he put some soup in his bowl and started eating. He reached for a piece of bread and tore it into pieces. He nearly burnt his tongue with the first spoon and went on eating more cautiously.

Benny was reading again. "Obviously she knows you better than you do yourself, Ray."

"Obviously." Ray imitated his lover's voice. He didn't want to tease his friend but this news was kind of shocking. It was the first demonstration that his mother accepted his new relationship with his best friend. He had told her two weeks after they had made love for the first time and she had not been as surprised or shocked as Ray had expected. Or feared. And now she apparently hadn't accepted it, she also seemed to be okay about it.

"Did she say anything?" he asked, his tone deliberately casual.

"'Make sure that the soup boils properly, Benton. There's nothing more disgusting than a soup that's only luke warm. You have to burn your tongue while eating it."

Ray stared at his lover. Sometimes he wasn't sure if Benny was that naive. Sometimes he was sure the Mountie was mocking him on purpose. "You did well, Benny. I actually burnt my tongue. Tell that my mother the next time she drops in. I bet she promised you the recipes of my fav dishes."

Benny put away his book. "Actually..." The Canadian stopped abruptly as Ray glared at him. He sat up and observed him eating.

"Don't you want to join me?" Ray's mood, already mellowed after the bath and the massage, improved even more as his mother's fabulous tomato soup filled his belly.

"Thank you kindly, Ray. I have already eaten. It's not healthy to eat in the middle of the night."

The Italian grinned lightly. "It's even less healthy not to eat in the middle of the night if you're starving."

"It would take a bit longer before you start starving, Ray. Lack of fluids is a considerable greater danger. You could survive literally weeks without food, Ray, while not drinking will mean death in a couple of days."

Ray had finished the first bowl and took another serving. "Benny, is there anything wrong with you?"

"Wrong, Ray?" The Canadian narrowed his eyes by a fraction.

"Geez, Benny, you know what I mean. You seem to be kind of... nervous."

"Nervous, Ray?"

The Italian exploded and jumped of his chair, nearly tipping over his soup. "Benny, stop that. No games anymore, capisce? You tell me what's on your mind or I'll be gone in a flash."

Apparently the Mountie was not impressed with the threat. He stretched out on his bed, propped his head into his hand and looked at Ray, in silence. The detective stared at his friend, looked back at the remnants of his meal and sighed. He grabbed the chair he'd been sitting on and placed it in front of his lover. The detective straddled it, leaning with his arms on the back of it. Stressing every word he tried one more time. "I have to know what is troubling you. Now."

Ray waited for an answer, seemingly patient, but his inside was in turmoil. The lack of sleep, the stress he'd built up over the case in the last days had worn on his nerves. But the worry he felt for his lover overrode all other emotions. Suddenly a thought came to his mind. "Benny, you aren't sick, are you? You surely would let me know that?" It was more a desperate plea than a question.

That finally got him a visible reaction from his lover. Benny shook his head vehemently. Relief washed over the Italian. He never doubted that his lover's denial meant the first question, not the second. On occasions like these he was scared by the love he was feeling for the Mountie. Benny had become the most important person in his life. "Thanks to God," the detective whispered.

The Canadian smiled, but the smile never reached his eyes. Benny's eyes. Ray had learned to see them as a window to his lover's soul. They were very dark now, nearly black, instead of the normally brilliant ice blue. The Italian had seen that look before. With a wash of guilt he remembered the occasion when the two of them had met for the first time. Benny had come to Chicago to investigate his father's murder. Ray had been assigned the case and had made a thoughtless remark about it. He'd regretted his words, "dead Mountie thing", many times over and still felt miserable about it every time he thought about it. This time was no exception. He wanted to reach out for his lover, to touch Benny. But something held his emotions in check. Maybe it was him. Something he had said or done...

"Is it me, Benny?" Ray wondered at the calmness with which that question had come out. At the same time he had the feeling that his life depended on the answer he would get.

More silence. When Ray thought he could only scream at his lover Benny reached for the book he'd been reading. As Ray had already acknowledged it was one of the journals his friend's father had written. The Mountie handed it to him and Ray took it, surprised. "Open it, Ray."

The detective did as he was told and found a picture that the Canadian had used as a mark. He wanted to lay it aside when he suddenly realised what it showed. It depicted Benny, his right arm around the shoulder of another man. Both were in their mid-twenties and they smiled radiantly. Ray had never seen his lover this happy.

The Italian looked up. Benny nodded. "This is me and Steve. About ten years ago in Canada. He was my first lover." The Mountie stopped, but for once Ray was silent. His mind seemed to have stopped processing information. He heard the words but was unable to grab their meaning. Something told him that this wasn't the whole truth. The fact that the Mountie had a relationship before him didn't account for his peculiar behaviour. There was more to come.

"He was my first lover... and he is probably the man you're looking for." That surely dissected Ray's numbness.

"He is what?"

For once Benny didn't repeat what he had just said. "We met in Ottawa when I was there for further education. I fell in love with him, head over heels, so to speak. Steve was working with an insurance company. He had made some insightful suggestions to improve the co-operation between insurance companies and law enforcement. My instructor pointed him out to me. There is a man who is as determined as you are when it comes to his job, Constable.' I read the seminar paper and was hooked. Steve Cornell definitely knew what he was writing about. He pointed out the weaknesses in the teamwork between insurance companies and the force. I signed in for his recital. He was even more convincing in reality. I asked my instructor who was also attending the seminar to introduce me. Steve invited me to discuss matters over lunch. That was how it all started. He took off time from his work as long as I was staying in Ottawa and we spent every free minute of the day together. We became lovers on the third night and I knew Steve was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I applied for transfer to Halifax where he was working. Four months later my application was approved and I moved into his apartment. Life hadn't never been... nearer to perfection. " Benny rolled on his back and laid a hand over his eyes.

Never been nearer to perfection,' Ray repeated in his mind. Never.' He shuddered. That clearly included their time together. He stood and moved over to the closet. He opened it and pulled out one of his lover's sweater and put it on. He turned the chair, sat down on it again. Ray pulled his knees up to his chest and covered his legs with the sweater. "Go on, Benny."

And the Canadian continued. "Two months after that he quit his job. He was furious how they'd treated his ideas and suggestions. He began writing a study about the interaction between law enforcement and insurance companies. Our relationship intensified, more and more. We both were happy with what we were doing. Half a year later Steve started working for the newspaper, editing the stories before they got printed. It meant less time together but he told me he needed the money. His book was still in the works and wouldn't be a best-seller anyway. Steve hoped it would be his entry into university. I told him we could manage with my salary, that he should concentrate on his study but he wouldn't hear any of it."

"Then the break-ins started. It was a meticulous job, planned to perfection. It became obvious that it was a series. And everyone believed it to be carried out by a group of criminals. Everyone knew it couldn't have been done by a single person. Too much planning and research and observation of the buildings was involved. It just seemed impossible to be the deeds of a single man."

"But it was." Ray stated a fact and Benny confirmed it was a nod.

"Yes, it was. Steve had masterminded it all by himself. He had planned it months in advance when he was still working with the insurance company. He had copied files and files of information on the clients. His quitting the company had been part of the plan. As was his so-called study. Ray, he outlined this coup in front of my eyes. I didn't suspect anything. Anything at all. And his plan was perfect. He had worked in enough distractions so no one would trace a lead back to his former company. The victims had nothing in common, absolutely nothing. There was no pattern to go by. Not the locations, not the timing."

"How did you find out?" Ray was surprised when Benny started laughing. It was a laugh stripped of any humour and his smile was just a grimace. The detective didn't like what he saw. Nor what he heard.

"He told me. We discussed the break-ins about two months after they'd started. I wasn't personally involved but knew the officers who'd been assigned to the case. I expressed my reluctant admiration for the cleverness of the gang. That was when Steve told me." Benny hesitated before he went on. "I still didn't know why he did it. He must have been so sure of my love. Maybe he misinterpreted my reaction to the crime. I have no idea."

"You turned him in." Another fact.

"Yes, I did. On the day he was sentenced he swore to kill me. When he escaped I was transferred to the territories, as a kind of protection. My request to go after him was denied. Personal involvement."

"Figures." Ray's voice was hoarse and he was shivering considerably now. "And you believe he's in Chicago now?"

"Yes, Ray. These break-ins here are his MO."

"You think he knows you're here?" Ray wished this was all a nightmare. Yes, he was still in that bathtub, dreaming.

"I cannot tell, Ray. There is a positive probability for it. But it could also be a coincidence." For the first time since Benny had begun his confession his voice lost a bit of its calmness. "I want it to be a coincidence, Ray."

"Highly unlikely, Benny, highly unlikely." Ray stood and toured the apartment, first picked up the gun Benny had put on the pile of his clothes. He checked it and put it behind the waistband of his shorts. Then he moved over to the window and peered out, carefully, so that he couldn't be seen. Nothing. The street was totally deserted. He checked the buildings on opposite side. No. Every window lay in darkness.

The detective wished he could lock the door. Instead he took the chair and barricaded the door with, placing the back of it under the handle. "That has to do for tonight. I'll get you into custody first thing in the morning. He checked his watch. "That'll be in a few hours anyway."

"No, Ray. I won't hide. I want you to keep silent about this."

"What? Are you nuts? This man wants to kill you."

"It's just a hypothesis that it's Steve. And it's another hypothesis that he knows about my whereabouts. Too many ifs for my taste."

"But not for me, Benny. And I have to tell the Lieu about your suspicions." Ray had difficulties not to yell at his friend.

"No need to mention my personal involvement. Just tell him the bare facts. That should be enough."

"Enough for what?"

"To make a progress in this case without shutting me out."

"You mean you gonna join in this?" Now Ray was yelling.

"Shhh, Ray, you'll wake the whole neighbourhood. And yes, I'm going to be your partner in this. You always welcomed my support, Ray." Ray couldn't believe his eyes when Benny grinned at him, a definite sparkle in his eyes.

"This is not a joke or a game, Benny."

The grin disappeared and the Canadian stared at him, hard. "I very well know that, Ray. It's a crime and I am a law enforcement officer. Promise me that you will let me work with you on this one. I cannot possibly wait in protective custody till everything is over. I cannot and I will not. Promise me."

The Italian studied the Mountie. There was more to it than met the eye. He was sure about it. It did remind him of a personal vendetta between the Mountie and his former friend. Somehow Benny felt responsible. However, Ray didn't feel up to it to do any more digging right now. He was short from falling asleep while standing. So he finally nodded under the unrelenting stare of his lover.

"Okay, Benny, I promise." He cast down his eyes, every fibre in him screaming that he was making a major mistake. But he hadn't the strength to fight the Mountie's will. Maybe tomorrow, after he slept some hours. "Welsh will have my hide."

Ray only realised that he had spoken out loud these words when Benny stood up and drew him into a tight hug. His body involuntarily responded although he struggled not to give in so easily. "Benny, don't. This makes me look like a..." he broke off, exhaustion eventually getting the better of him.

"No, Ray, nothing ever will make you look like that. I just... I just need to touch you." Ray let himself drag onto the small, hard cod, and he snuggled with his back against the body of his lover. The Canadian turned him over and kissed him lightly on his lips. Ray refused to open his eyes, but let the Mountie continue with his caresses. He felt a slight stirring in his loins and moved, closing the gap between them. He noticed the arousal in his lover's cock and moaned.

"Benny, please..." he began, unable to go on. His lover captured his mouth with his lips, kissing him tenderly, probing carefully.

The Canadian pulled back a little. "Ray, you just relax. Just relax." And then he kissed him again. The Italian wanted to break out of it, but Benny held his head firmly. When the Mountie finally stopped Ray pulled back his head a fraction and shook it once. Then he turned again and closed his eyes. After a few moments Benny snuggled against him, laying his arms around him. Ray relaxed when his lover took no further action. A few minutes later he could here the constant and regular breathing. He was asleep. Ray sighed. This hadn't been the best of days in his life. It was the last conscious thought before he drifted into sleep.

***

Lieutenant Welsh listened to Constable Fraser's account of Steve Cornell's criminal activities in Halifax. Civilian Aide Elaine Besbriss was assigned to order the relevant files from their Canadian colleagues. And detectives Huey, Gardino and Vecchio sat down to work out a new plan for the observation of likely objects. They were joined by Ray Vecchio's unofficial partner, Benton Fraser.

With a photograph they got from Canada via fax they toured the insurance companies in Chicago and finally found a company Steve Cornell had worked for until he quitted four months ago. He had taken on the identity of Marcus Furlough. And they got hold on a new picture of him, picked at the company's Christmas party last year.

They sat down with the company's list of clients and worked through it meticulously. First they picked out the houses whose inhabitants had left town for some time. Benny threw in his intimate knowledge of Cornell's MO, mainly the valuables he preferred. He had specialised in jewellery, a prey easy to carry. Then they looked for the security, crossed out any buildings that were actually watched. That still left them with three possible scenes of crime. They presented their results to Welsh.

"Okay. I'll assign three teams to this. Vecchio and Fraser, Huey and Gardino and I'll ask for support from the 7th. After all one of the buildings is in their area." The detectives left, and looked at the two premises that were still in question.

"Benny, your pick," Ray encouraged his partner. Gardino wanted to say something but Ray just glared at him and the other man kept his silence.

The Mountie stared at the files on the desk in front of him. There was no reason to chose one over the other. But still he had a feeling... Ray interrupted his thoughts. "Just go ahead, Benny. We have to wait for back-up anyway. We are in this together. No competition this time. Teamwork, right guys?" Huey and Gardino eyed the Italian suspiciously but finally theymurmured agreement.

Benny nodded and tipped the file on the right hand side. "Monkwell's Manor. That leaves the Isles of Isis' to you." Ray picked up the second file and tossed it over to Gardino. "And remember, no Lone Ranger stunts in this one."

Gardino stepped closer to the Italian. "Now who's the Lone Ranger here... Let me tell ya somethin' Vecchio, I am fed up with your..." He was interrupted by his partner who dragged him out of the interrogation room they had used for their counselling.

"Let it be, Louis. No need for a fight." He threw Ray a warning look and added, "yet." The two detectives left.

"Now what made you pick the Manor, Benny? Anything we overlooked?"

The Canadian took his time to answer, still studying the file. He traced the image of the building that was attached to it. Finally he looked up. "No, Ray. I just had a hunch."

Ray couldn't help grinning. "Hope it felt good."

"I am not sure about that, Ray. I wish I was."

***

They had settled in a strategic position in the manor's gardens, keeping a close look on the windows of the room the jewellery was kept in. The last three days they had spent their nights here, no results whatsoever. Neither on the other sights. Ray started to worry about their hypotheses. Still, there were no other break-ins and this was the best plan they had. The only plan they had.

"Benny?" he whispered.

"Yes, Ray?" came the low answer.

"You sure know that we haven't that much time anymore. The detailed files from Canada will arrive soon and then we are done for. Welsh will know about your personal involvement. It's a good thing it'll take those bureaucrats that much time to transfer the information. And it's also a good thing that Welsh doesn't press things. Well, after all there seems to be no need for those files. Unless you know..." he stopped.

"Yes, Ray, unless you know about the information that's contained in them. I realise that it's against regulations what we are doing. All the more I am thankful that you let me..." he stopped midsentence and pointed over to the house. Ray nodded. It had only been there for a second, but clearly visible. The reflection of a flashlight in the window on the left hand side.

He reached for his walkie-talkie to inform Huey and Gardino when Benny jumped up and ran over to the building. "Damn," he cursed, under his breath. Then he made the call and as soon as the other two acknowledged the information he followed his partner. "I swear if Cornell doesn't kill him I'll do it." By the light of the moon he made it over to the building. After a few minutes he found the door Cornell must have entered by.

Remembering the outlay of the house he went in, his gun ready in his right hand. When he came to the room Cornell had to be in he stopped shortly, considering to wait for Huey and Gardino. But then... Benny was already in there. He had to be, even there was no trace of him. And he was.

"I knew it would be you, Benton. Your wounded pride wouldn't let you sleep in all those years, I bet." Ray dropped dead when he heard the unfamiliar voice. Cornell.

"I has nothing to do with my pride, Steve. I am a Mountie. You are a criminal."

"End of story, huh? Well, there was more to it, wasn't it? You told me you loved me. I trusted you. We could have owned the world and shared it." Ray hold his breath. He wasn't sure where the conversation was heading but he didn't want to put his lover in any further danger. Cornell would probably be armed. Benny wasn't.

"You never realised that being an officer was more than a job to me. But that shouldn't surprise me. The whole time we were together has been a lie. And I was stupid enough to believe in that lie."

Good one, Benny. Just anger him and he'll shoot you right away.' Ray was determined to take action now. He didn't know the guy, couldn't judge his possible reactions. He counted up till ten and then moved into the room, carefully.

"A lie. No, Ben, not a lie. I'd like to think of it as a performance. And loving you has never been part of it. That was real. The only real thing I ever encountered in my life, apart from this."

Ray caught his breath when he got sight of the two men. Cornell had the Mountie at gun point and held up a bunch of jewellery in his other hand. The detective realised that he couldn't take a shot without endangering his friend. Damn you, Benny. Cornell is right about your pride.' There was no way get into the room without being seen. Well, at least he could try to buy themselves some time.

"Freeze, Cornell. Chicago PD. Let go of the gun. Now." Simultaneously he turned on the lights. He saw Benny stiffen but the Mountie didn't move any further. Geez, I counted on your reflexes and you go on standing there, shielding the guy.' The thought made him shiver. Maybe the Mountie was just doing that. Whatever, Cornell did react. He stepped even closer to Benny, threw away the jewellery and took the gun into both of his hands, aiming at the Mountie's head.

"Why Benton, we've got company. Detective, you drop your gun or I kill Red off."

"As far as I know that had been your plan in the first place." Ray made no sign to follow Cornell's instructions.

"He told you? Ben, Ben, Ben. You really thought I had been after you all those years. It was only said in the heat of the moment."

Ray laughed humourlessly. "Cornell, listen to the crap you're talking. You have no chance. You cannot escape from here. They are already waiting for you. Outside." Ray prayed that it wasn't only a bluff. He needed more time.

"You are bluffing, Detective. Now put down the gun." Cornell's voice was bare of any emotion now and Ray finally obeyed. He knelt down and placed his weapon on the carpet. He stood again, stepped back two paces and lifted his hands.

"Thank you kindly, detective. Benton, pick up the gun and get out of the line of fire, will you? Don't try anything or I'll shoot him." Ray gasped at that and stared at his friend who followed his former lover's instructions. Now Cornell's gun was trained on himself.

"Just in case that you're not bluffing, Detective. You'll make a fine hostage. Ben, you lead the way. The two of us will be right behind you." Benny started walking out of the room. "I told you ten years ago that we would be a fantastic team, Benton. Why didn't you listen?" Cornell was close behind Ray now and the Detective turned abruptly. The other man saw the attack too late. The detective grabbed for the gun and the two men struggled over it.

A shot was heard and Ray felt a searing pain in his left shoulder. He let go of the other man, but not of the gun and with a twist of his right hand he managed to snatch it from Cornell's grip. The other man stumbled back and Ray aimed at him. "Don't you dare to move." Ray looked at his shoulder and found it bleeding. His friend still hadn't moved.

"Benny, would you mind to help me?" When there was no reaction from his lover he shot a look over his shoulder. Benny just stood there, staring alternately at him and Cornell. "Benny," Ray yelled. "Snap out of it. I'm bleeding to death here."

Cornell gave a short laugh. "Well, I think you just lost your partner. Ben, have you finally realised that you still belong to me? When you turned me in... that has been the greatest mistake in your life. You can see that now, can't you? We can still make it. Get the jewellery and we'll get out of here."

Ray couldn't believe what he just witnessed. He checked his lover's face again. And then he realised that Cornell was right. Benny felt guilty of betraying his lover. All this was an attempt to set things right. Ray wanted to scream in frustration. Sweat had broken out on his forehead and streamed into his eyes. "Benny, don't you listen to him. Help me." He wiped over forehead with his free hand and the pain in his left shoulder made him dizzy. He stumbled slightly and at the next moment Cornell was over him again. He punched his wound and Ray cried out in pain. His vision blackened and his stomach nearly turned. He clutched at his shoulder with his right hand, wincing at the contact.

It took a few seconds to blink away the blackness. Cornell was towering over him. "I think you've annoyed me a little bit too much. No hostage is worth all this." Cornell took his aim. The shot thundered in Ray's ears. The next thing he saw was Cornell's body tipping forward. He jerked back his head. Benny stood there, gun in his outstretched hand. Ray tried to speak, but he didn't even get out a whisper. And the world went black.

***

Ray killed the engine and looked up at the building. For two days he had put off with this decision. Two days ago he had left the hospital. His wound was still troubling him, but it would heal in time. He would recover completely. Physically.

After he'd gone unconscious he'd woken up in the hospital and had undergone surgery the same morning. Only his family and Welsh had visited him. Cornell was dead and there would be an investigation. Welsh had informed him that Benny had already made his testimony and by the look of it Ray would get away with a reprimand for his rash behaviour in this case. Benny hadn't come to see him. Four days after the shooting he had been released. Still unfit for duty, but able to manage at home. His mother would see to that.

But Benny hadn't come to see him at home, either. Ray's sister Frannie had called Mr. Mustafi and the neighbour had promised to inform the Canadian. But there had been no visit, no call, no letter. Not one life sign. Well, Willy had made an appearance in the Vecchio home. He was the boy who looked after Benny's wolf Diefenbaker. The last two weeks his family had gone camping and taken the wolf with them. Benny had fetched the wolf from Willy's place the day before, informing the boy about what had happened. Ray had been quite touched when the kid turned up. The boy had been already out of the door when he'd come back once more.

"Frasier ain't lookin' too good, Detective. Maybe you can check on him..."

Ray had growled at the kid. "Now who's the one who'd been shot?"

Willy'd just shrugged. "I thought you are his friend."

Ray had stared after him. "So did I," he had whispered.

Now he parked in front of Benny's apartment building. His heart ached at the thought of his lover. Every time he stood or sat here, seeing the premise, his friend lived him he felt the urge to hurry up the stairs, take him in his arms and kiss him. That building over there just seemed to scream the Mountie's solitude at him. Today was no exception. Ray got out of his beloved car, a green 1971 Buick Riviera, mint condition. It was against doctor's orders that he had driven here by himself but he had needed just that. And it was only his left side that was hindered by the wound. So he fairly managed and the driving did lift his spirits.

All his elation was gone as soon as he crossed the street and entered the derelict building. Whatever forces people to live in such a rat-hole... He didn't even check on the elevator and ascended to the third floor via the littered stairs. Everything seemed familiar and strange at the same time. He took it as a foreboding for the encounter with Benny. He wasn't sure about the reception he would get. Benton Fraser had saved his life but Ray couldn't fathom what that had cost his friend. Nor himself.

Without hesitation he knocked at the door. And without waiting for an answer he made his entry. A short bark greeted him and a white-furred being nearly nailed him with his back against the door he was about to shut. "Hey, Dief, back from the wilderness. You don't look any woolfier to me." He bent down to the animal and stroked the thick fur in unconcealed affection. He was just glad to be still alive to get himself covered with wolf hairs.

Finally Dief had finished his inspection and trotted back into his corner, settling down there. Ray straightened and tried in vain to free himself of the traces Diefenbaker had left there. He gave up after a few moments. The Italian found Benny lying on his bed again, reading again, watching him warily. Ray thought he had a deja vu, but then put the thought at the back of his mind.

"Hi, Benny!" He wanted his voice to sound cheerily but it came out in a hoarse whisper.

"Ray." The Mountie gave him a short nod and reached for the bookmark that lay on the floor beside the bed. It was just a piece of paper, apparently ripped from a newspaper page.

When there didn't come anything else Ray got out of his jacket, a little hindered by the sling he was wearing. Benny jumped up and gave him a hand. "Did I finally make it into the class of elderly and handicapped people, Benny?" It should have been a joke but it sounded like a reproach.

"I'm sorry, Ray."

"What for, Benny?" The sooner they discussed their situation the better. Ray didn't want to play any mind games. "Tell me, Benny."

"That I let you down." The Mountie's voice was calm but his eyes told a different story.

"Well, you saved my life."

"After risking it."

"So why did you do it? And why didn't you visit me in the hospital? I should have thought I deserved more..."

Benny nearly yelled when he interrupted him. "I couldn't, Ray. Not after what I have done to you. What do you expect? That we forget the last week and just ignore what had happened? That I cannot do. I cannot even believe that you came here."

"I am your friend, Benny. After all I am still your friend." Ray was surprised how calm he was. But then this was familiar ground. His friendship with Benny had been the greatest treasure in his life before they had become lovers. And that wouldn't change in the future. Whatever became out of their further involvement.

"How can you, Ray?" Benny sat down on the bed again, hiding his face with his hands. "I was about to leave with him, you know that? All those years I longed. Longed for what I have lost. What I had destroyed myself because of my commitment to duty. When Steve came here to Chicago it was like fate gave me another chance. I wanted to grab that chance, whatever the cost. I would have you paying for it, if needs be."

"I know. I saw it in your eyes. You still loved him. And you are right. We cannot go back to square one. But we can start again. I love you, Benny, I ever will. You might think that is not enough, but it is enough for me. And since I am paying this round it's my decision." Ray had wondered what he would say to his friend but now the words came out of him in a constant stream. "If I can give us another chance why can't you? You struggled with fate twice, you lost twice. Why don't you chose another sparring partner?"

"Being who?" The Mountie looked up at him, his eyes burning with a dark fire. Ray had never seen him closer to crying. It nearly broke his heart.

"Life, Benny." And then the Italian sat down beside his friend and drew him into an embrace, stroking the back of his head. Tears wouldn't come, but Ray wasn't surprised. It would take some time.

After long moments of silence the Mountie spoke in a very low voice. "I still think it's not fair. When I close my eyes and I feel your touch I think you're someone else. That is not fair."

Ray bit his lower lip. Benny was right again. It wasn't fair. But he would go for it anyway. Benny was his life. Losing him would mean the end of it all. He couldn't risk that. And as long as he lived there would be hope. For both of them. "Benny, I always thought that I was someone else when I'm with you. For your eyes only."

End

   [1]: mailto:Heavysaber@yahoo.de
   [2]: mailto:heavysaber@yahoo.de
   [3]: mailto:Heavysaber@yahoo.do



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